I grew up in a predominately Christian (or Mormon!) town, therefore most of my high school classmates were, and still are, religious. I'm friends with quite a few of them on Facebook and it is not uncommon to see a status update such as this: "Please pray for me. Math test at 2!" Ugh. And then, when the math test results come in: "Thank you, God! I got an A!" I don't want to be a firestarter, so I haven't said anything...but it really bugs me that people project their accomplishments onto a higher being. Regardless of whether there is a God or not, you got that A because you studied, not because you prayed. I wish these friends would realize that it is their own intelligence and hard work that helped them achieve something, and then maybe it would be the first step to realizing that they don't need to depend on someone or something else to make them a "better" person. Another (albeit more terrifying) example of this detriment to self-sufficiency is that pilot who paused to pray instead of taking emergency measures before crash-landing his plane. 16 people were killed because of this. (See here) Let's stop to think about this for a moment. A trained and licensed pilot put 16 lives at risk instead of resorting to the emergency measures that he was instructed on. All because, presumably, he thought that God was more capable of handling the situation. This is terrifying to me. You know what else terrifies me? Songs like "Jesus, take the wheel." No, please, you take the wheel, because I am probably in another car on that highway and don't really feel like getting into an accident. My theory is that if people put a little more faith in themselves and their capabilities, they would realize that they don't need to be praying to a higher power for extra strength, intelligence, patience, etc. Regardless of prayer, you're the one who ends up doing the work in the end, right? You took that math test, not Jesus.
Okay, onto the "purely happy" part. Have you ever been in a relationship where you're only happy when that other person is around? Or when they are calling you? Or when they are complimenting you or reinforcing you? It's all beautiful when things are going your way, but when they leave you suddenly feel helpless in creating your own happiness. This is obviously unhealthy. We should all be able to make ourselves happy. After all, who knows you better than you? And that other person is not always going to be around to make you happy (not to mention that would be exhausting on their part, and a lot of pressure). It is my belief that a lot of religious people are in a "relationship" like this--with God. They believe that they won't be happy unless they can "talk" to God or "feel" God. They put so much emphasis on living a life for Him, that they seem to forget how to just be happy with themselves (this will link to a post on "Being Alone" I hope to write later this week). Furthermore, they cite God for every beauty or significance around them. This significance part moves me on to my real reason for this post...
In December of 2008, a very good friend of mine was stabbed and killed. It was, and will probably always be, the most traumatic and heartbreaking thing to ever happen to me. It really was senseless. His father is a pastor, so of course the services were very religious. Less than 24 hours after the death, a group of us had gathered at the pastor's church. I kept overhearing things like "This is all in God's plan," and it took every ounce of my will-power to not lash out at these people. "God's plan"?! What kind of a plan involves the brutal murder of a young man?! I think it is highly inappropriate, especially when someone is so freshly grieving, to say things like this. Am I supposed to nod and suddenly feel all better? Instead these types of "comforting words" only make me feel more angry and want to be more of an Atheist. Any God who has a plan like this doesn't sound like a God I want to look up to or strive to be like. I began the stages of grief, lingering far too long in the "denial" area. My religious friends got to the "acceptance" area very quickly, and I must admit this made me jealous. I knew it would be so much easier if I believed in heaven, because then I could comfort myself with ideas such as "he's in a better place," and "I'll see him soon." Laying in bed at night, during the weeks following his death, I was struck with a paralyzing anguish whenever I would think too hard about the permanence of his absence. I truly don't believe I will see him again, and that makes acceptance so much harder. In fact, I would venture to say I still haven't accepted his death nearly two years later. And in this sense, I am definitely envious of the blind comfort that religious people find in believing that there is an afterlife.
I don't mean for any of this to sound like I am clinging to the memory of his death in an unhealthy manner. I'm coming to terms with it in a different way, a way that takes more time and hurts more than just writing off his death as "God's plan." Sure, it would be easier that way, but I honestly believe that thoughts like that only put the bad feelings in a box and tuck it away in a closet in our brain. Pretty soon that closet could fill up and overflow, and you'll be overwhelmed with feelings that you never dealt with in the first place. Maybe I'll be angry over his murder for the rest of my life, but I don't really mind. The anger means I'm still feeling it, and in turn he feels closer. That's my own private way of keeping him.
Ed. Note: As not to offend anyone, I'd like to add that I know that not every religious person is like this. Some of my friends see their religion as a complement to their life, not a requirement. My meaning in this post was that when we put all of our faith into a higher being, we tend to forget our own capabilities and feelings.
any ideas as to where the road passed a-theism will take you? a-theism simply being a component of belief, what do you feel like you will most likely build on top of the frame of a godless world?
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